There is more than one way to enjoy cake.
Wednesday was my birthday and my lovely wife, even though I told her I didn’t want to celebrate was kind enough to go out and get me a cake AND 2 nice chocolate éclairs.
Now, my wife loves cake. She tries not to have it in the house a lot because she’s been eating properly and exercising and cake makes that very hard.
But once it’s in the house, watch out.
On my birthday, I opted for having one of the éclairs rather than a piece of cake. I said, you eat the cake, I’ll have the éclair. She said no, I’m not going to cut your cake if you are not going to have a piece. I find this silly, since you buy cake to eat, it’s perishable, if you want cake you should eat cake.
Now, the next day it turns out I have to work late. I will not be home for dinner and odds are she’ll be in bed before I get home so there will be the exact same dilemma. If she wants cake she will have to cut it without me having a piece.
So when I get home Thursday night at around 10:30 I see a cake knife (used) on the counter. Dar is in bed but not yet asleep so I immediately stomp into the bedroom and say in my most indignant voice,”You cut my cake without me?” to which she replied, “Is that the first fucking thing you checked when you came in the door you bastard?”
I explained that I saw the knife and was just fucking with her and chuckled while I had a piece of cake. It is pretty good.
David! Life’s too short, eat dessert first!
The forensics report said he died of multiple stab wounds. We didn’t find the knife but there was icing residue in the wounds.