Weekend Phone Calls and Turning 40 « A View From The Watters’ Edge

Weekend Phone Calls and Turning 40

April 7, 2008 by dave

So this weekend, the phone rings and as usual when it’s a recorded message you get 3 hello’s out before the recording starts. Just before I hang up the recording starts.

Normally the second I hear that it is a recording I hang up, but since I’ve been annoyed of late by telemarketers I’ve listened occasionally in hope of getting whoever called me a nice $25,000 fine because I’m on the national do not call registry for telemarketers.

So, quite quickly I learn that the call is a collect call from an inmate in the California penal system.

I’m about to hang up when I think, hey, I’m the friend that a lot of my friends would call for bail money if they ever got into a jam. I’d better wait for the part where I find out who’s calling.

Well, ends up it was a wrong number. Sorry Havier, I don’t know you and I’m not going to accept a $5 charge to let you know you have the wrong number. I almost changed my mind on that decision the 3rd time you called, but in the end I hope you got whoever you were looking for.

As for the second part of my title, yup I am officially ancient today.

My mid-life crisis is scheduled for around 6pm when I intend to clean out all the bank accounts, hop a flight to the Philippines and live on a beach in a grass hut for the next 30 years.

Actually I jest, I could never do that. Grass huts have documented issues with shoddy high speed internet.

So today in the comments you get to answer 2 questions. Outside of immediate family, who is your jail phone call going to? And what is the destination you are going to when you decide you’ve had enough of society and run away from your life?

Posted in David Watters Daily Post, Humor | Tagged Humor, prison | 12 Comments

12 Responses to “Weekend Phone Calls and Turning 40”

on April 7, 2008 at 5:14 pm1 Charlene

Hmmm. I think I would probably call Jerry. Don’t know if he would answer, but he’s the one I would think of. And, I couldn’t really count on him for bail. I think if I ended up in that situation, I would resign myself to a life in jail and start looking for a big woman to protect me.

Get away destination would involve water. If I have no money, it would have to be warm, although I don’t really want hot. I haven’t been to enough places to decide where to go for the rest of my life. With enough money, I would get a nice little house on a pristine lake surrounded by trees where I could hear the call of loons.
on April 7, 2008 at 5:15 pm2 Charlene

Oh ya. Happy birthday. I just sent you a card, so it’s not like I forgot or anything.
on April 7, 2008 at 6:48 pm3 Caper2567

This is a sad state of affairs. My prison phone call would be to my home phone just to check messages. Running away from my life would probably involve running the car in the garage with a tube from the exhaust into the seating area. I’d have to clean the garage first so I don’t foresee actually running away from my life anytime soon. Prison on the other hand…

I know where you were going with the running away from your life question Dave. I could see spending a week or two on the beach but would unlike yourself become bored at some point and could not run away to do so.

There is a guy who runs a gift shop and kayak rental place outside of Point Pelee Park (http://www.peleewings.ca/index.php) who runs Kayak eco tours in Mexico December through March. If I could, I would love to model myself along the philosophy he lives by - using hobbies and interests as a vocation and a means of support. So in Doug’s fantasy world he would run three small businesses. One that worked summers in Cape Breton; One that ran 7-8 months a years in southwestern Ontario and one that coordinated 10 day holiday trips to the great breweries/distilleries of the world on a semi-annual basis.

Happy 40th! Just remember 40 is the new 30 so don’t think of yourself as ancient just yet.
on April 7, 2008 at 7:55 pm4 paul

Happy Birthday Dave. Welcome to fogeydom. I hope nobody planted flamingos all over the place for ya.
on April 7, 2008 at 8:55 pm5 dave

@Charlene

You couldn’t count on him for bail because he doesn’t have it or he wouldn’t give it?

I always knew you were loony.

@Doug

Donna is going to get a property in the Annapolis Valley this year and start a vacation rental property. This is going to be the learn from your mistakes property and when she has the bugs all ironed out the rest of the Watters clan is going to get involved with subsequent properties.

My current work if I put some effort into developing it can be done via remote connection from anywhere in the world. If I can telecommute to work I would be much happier.

@Paul

Thank you sir. And nope, not much place to set them up in an apartment and that’s not a big tradition in the US
on April 8, 2008 at 12:03 am6 studentat48

Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, haappppy biirrtthhday, haaapppyy biiirrrttthhhday, happy birthday to you, and many more…TAKE ME WITH YOU DAMNIT!!! Phone call - Clint Eastwood - Place to run away to - Australia
on April 8, 2008 at 12:40 am7 Anonymous

the phone call would be tough. other than family the first three people i thought of would all most likely be sitting in jail with me. calling them wouldn’t do me a whole hell of a lot of good.

as for running away? anywhere but here baby. anywhere but here.

happy birthday old man.
(i’m not that far behind you, i turn 38 in a few days)
on April 8, 2008 at 3:07 am8 Dar

I wouldn’t call dave, he’d claim never to have met me.

My destination would be anywhere sunny with someplace to swim and hike and take in nature.

No flamingo’s but our neighbor did dress up the front door and the railing leading to our section of the building with streamers and happy b-day big 4-0 crap all over it. She makes the store-bought cake i have in the fridge look pidley.
on April 9, 2008 at 3:14 pm9 crazedreamer

I’m calling one of my sister’s. My older sister used to work in Bail Bonds, that could be handy. I’m about 42 and still going through my mid-life crisis. Actually, I think I’m finally about over it. I’m running off somewhere close to a beach!
on April 9, 2008 at 5:36 pm10 dave

@Anon

Yeah I used to be the same way. It was almost assured that the people I would think of calling outside of family would be in the cell with me.

Now that I’ve relocated temporarily to California though I have a few long distance calls I can make.

@Dar

Damn, you’re learning.

@Crazedreamer

Thanks for coming by and the link.

Your kids will totally get you back for that chicken thing by making you eat crazy foods when you are old
on April 17, 2008 at 1:55 am11 NoRegrets

40 isn’t that bad. Wait til 41 though. It sucks… happy belated!
on April 17, 2008 at 7:34 am12 dave

@noregrets

Thanks.. and thanks for stopping by.